I try not to think too deeply about this issue, but when I do, I start to realize all the little things (like sending birthday cards or calling just to say hi) that I do for my "friends" that almost none of them do with an equal rate of return. Now I realize that some of my closest friends are guys, and guys have a hard time managing their own life, let alone providing small gestures of gratitude or interest in others. Is the common courtesy to remember people lost in this day and age?? Maybe I was brought up old school, but when someone sends you something, or gives you something, you should at the VERY LEAST write a thank you note. And hopefully be thinking ahead enough to return the thought. (for God's sake , your phone can remind you of these tasks!)
Another situation on this subject, is inviting people to dinner.
Now, maybe I'm more social than a lot of people, maybe I like to cook and entertain more than other folks my age, but I'd like to think that when I invite people over, maybe sometime in the future they would invite me over. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't entertain just to be entertained. I love entertaining. It's obviously a lot of work, usually. But I enjoy the cooking, I enjoy making the house presentable and I enjoy the company of others in a group setting.
So the situation is this ... a girl whom I used to work with, and her husband, have come to our house for dinner approximately two times now. The only thing we've been invited to at their house was a "keg party" , hardly an equal invitation. And I've mentioned several times how we should "get together" , HINTING at a hopeful invite. So far, nothing.. :(
It makes me sad to think that the people I enjoy spending time with, don't enjoy spending time with me, and therefore don't WANT to return the invite. Is that possible?? I guess anything is POSSIBLE, I would just hope that's not the situation.
I realize that there is an added cost of cooking for more than your family (for us only 2) and the extra time and effort involved to prepare things, clean the house (if you're so inclined) but I would think that if someone goes to those lengths to entertain you, that you'd at least feel somewhat inclined or hopefully WANT to return the gift.
I don't want to be a hermit, holed up in my house, with my husband and 2 cats , never seeing my friends my whole life Like I said, I like to entertain, and we have a good house for it. But its tiring to always be the one to initiate. :(
UPDATE : this girl has since invited, and we went, to a lovely dinner at her house. So I feel bad that I was initially judgemental, but the first part of the post still stands! haha
